Crowbar's Interview With The Vampire

"Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Maybe sunshine and maybe rain."
- RJD2

"It's astounding to me that one can wake up to emptiness and meaninglessness, day after day after day, and yet still decide to get up again with the next dawn. Is it the maintenance of the unsubstantiated hope that this next day might be the one in which you'll feel something different? Feel anything at all? Do we hold so tightly to the vain belief that this 24 hour cycle could be different than the one before, and the one before that?

And yet we do it. We get up again. Almost all of us. And not a single one can really explain why, except that we do. Over and over and goddamned over.

When I was a kid, I used to say, always, always say, that I didn't want to change. That I knew it was nearly unendurable to feel everything so acutely, that it was painful and destabilizing to always be in the throes of some rollercoaster misery, to never have emotional peace. I used to say that as much as that was devastating for me, as much as it tormented my daily existence, I wouldn't wish to change it, as my greatest fear was becoming one of the living dead, becoming one who lives their life in a series of repetitious, inconsequential actions, feeling nothing.

'Do not name the well from which you do not want to drink.' A friend of mine said that to me once, just before I drank so very deeply."