"I Am Hurt, But I Am Not Slain..."
"...I will lie me down and bleed awhile, then I will rise and fight again." - Socrates
The following communique just arrived from Crowbar Headquarters:
HQ Staff Update:
One fun thing that happened in the last week involved digging up a little consultation report that was worked up on our hero some time ago. Technically we're not supposed to be able to get our hands on this stuff, but, well, this is Crowbar Headquarters. We get our hands on whatever we damn well please....
Continuing; the consulting physician had some amusing misconceptions about why Crowbar is so damned intense all the time, and alternately appears to want to either fix the world, blow it up, or hide under a pile of coats. It's entertaining to read consultations of this nature, if only to note the portions that the treating physicians get so terribly, terribly wrong. For example:
"She has never had a true manic or psychotic episode."
That's hilarious. Have you met Crowbar? What did you think, that she'd volunteer the info on where she buries the bodies? S-e-c-r-e-t A-g-e-n-t. Say it with me now...
"There are no delusions, nor any homicidal, suicidal or paranoid ideations."
Oh, you're so cute.
"She is reluctant to take medication although she uses cigarettes and has taken illicit drugs in the past."
This one had all of us at HQ rolling on the floor. First off, the implication that it is illogical for someone who smokes to be against psychotropic medication just illustrates how totally fucked our societal perception of both smoking and pharmeceuticals has become. Second, the fact that Crowbar has taken "illicit drugs" in the past [she's insisting we tell you they were very, very good] might partly speak to WHY she isn't really into drugging herself into submission anymore. Clearly, she has demonstrated that if she wants to do that she knows exactly how, doesn't need your signature, and can get waaaay better shit than you've got on her own, dude. Why the hell do you think she'd even consult you, if she wanted to play chemistry with her brain to deal with things? Have you actually convinced yourself you are *necessary* to that process?
Ya know, it might be a bit easier to take psychopharmacologists seriously if they weren't so intent on exposing themselves as morons. Actually, scratch that - it's impossible to take anyone who calls themself a "psychopharmacologist" seriously, period. Good for a laugh, though, and it got some response out of Crowbar when she was still communicating using only ninja moves and fruit.
*
The new Gearhead newsletter was just delivered to the HQ inbox so we gotta split, but before we do, one final note on today's Documentary Pick (located in the sidebar). An intelligence tape containing this film was dropped off in the Crowbar HQ mailbox earlier this week by Bonez, one of our Resistance Force independent affiliates. Among multiple reels (Bonez is a rich source of information) was The Secret Policeman - our new Favourite. Movie. Ever. This documentary is the work of a BBC reporter who went undercover as an officer on the second largest British police force, in order to determine whether racism was still rampant with new recruits. The Resistance Force can only tip its hat to the stellar work he did, using hidden cameras and recorded audio to capture what these cops were saying when off the record. This is spy work of the highest calibre. The whole crew was spellbound earlier this evening when we screened it, and even Con Allyerd finally turned up to watch. Of course, being that she's probably the most crass operative in the Crowbar team, her main contribution to the discussion was to comment that the reporter, Mark Daly, was "dead sexy" before she sashayed out the door to embezzle more funds, but we were still impressed that she showed at all.
Continued thanks to Bonez for surreptitiously leaving useful intelligence outside the HQ doors when we're least expecting it, and a big recommendation to all of you Resistance Force affiliates to check it out.
The following communique just arrived from Crowbar Headquarters:
"Hi all, Crowbar here. Nice to be back with you again.[HQ Staff Note: Clearly, our fearless leader has returned...]
First off, I need to say that I've read what some here at HQ posted below during the brief period I was incommunicado and I must protest that rumours of my mental demise have been greatly exaggerated. Jesus, just 'cause a girl mangles a couple of puppets and drools a little, suddenly everybody's going on and on about "anger issues". Let me clarify: crowbars are for smashing, ok? No matter what anyone tells you about levers and prying and all that "useful tool" crap, those of us in the know know it's all about demolition. That said, I don't see why everyone's so surprised that I busted up some shit - hell, I have to do it, by definition.
But I swept up all the crap I broke like a good little girl, no one was hospitalized and no charges were laid, so really, what's all the fuss about? I'm telling you, if everyone on the crew doesn't stop talking to me in these gentle, soothing tones there just might have to be a bloodbath in here to remind everyone exactly who's boss. It's called "Crowbar Headquarters" for a reason, people...
Now, with the minor matter of threats out of the way, let's hope we can return to the work of subverting the Dark Side(TM) agenda and achieving global domination."
- Crowbar Out.
[CB Postscript: "Three floors below, someone has just come running down the street at full speed behind a shopping cart, with what looks suspiciously like another human being in it. It is 12:00 at night, that street has high traffic, and everything's covered in snow and slush. Situation Assessment: All is right with the world and as it should be."]*
HQ Staff Update:
One fun thing that happened in the last week involved digging up a little consultation report that was worked up on our hero some time ago. Technically we're not supposed to be able to get our hands on this stuff, but, well, this is Crowbar Headquarters. We get our hands on whatever we damn well please....
Continuing; the consulting physician had some amusing misconceptions about why Crowbar is so damned intense all the time, and alternately appears to want to either fix the world, blow it up, or hide under a pile of coats. It's entertaining to read consultations of this nature, if only to note the portions that the treating physicians get so terribly, terribly wrong. For example:
"She has never had a true manic or psychotic episode."
That's hilarious. Have you met Crowbar? What did you think, that she'd volunteer the info on where she buries the bodies? S-e-c-r-e-t A-g-e-n-t. Say it with me now...
"There are no delusions, nor any homicidal, suicidal or paranoid ideations."
Oh, you're so cute.
"She is reluctant to take medication although she uses cigarettes and has taken illicit drugs in the past."
This one had all of us at HQ rolling on the floor. First off, the implication that it is illogical for someone who smokes to be against psychotropic medication just illustrates how totally fucked our societal perception of both smoking and pharmeceuticals has become. Second, the fact that Crowbar has taken "illicit drugs" in the past [she's insisting we tell you they were very, very good] might partly speak to WHY she isn't really into drugging herself into submission anymore. Clearly, she has demonstrated that if she wants to do that she knows exactly how, doesn't need your signature, and can get waaaay better shit than you've got on her own, dude. Why the hell do you think she'd even consult you, if she wanted to play chemistry with her brain to deal with things? Have you actually convinced yourself you are *necessary* to that process?
Ya know, it might be a bit easier to take psychopharmacologists seriously if they weren't so intent on exposing themselves as morons. Actually, scratch that - it's impossible to take anyone who calls themself a "psychopharmacologist" seriously, period. Good for a laugh, though, and it got some response out of Crowbar when she was still communicating using only ninja moves and fruit.
*
The new Gearhead newsletter was just delivered to the HQ inbox so we gotta split, but before we do, one final note on today's Documentary Pick (located in the sidebar). An intelligence tape containing this film was dropped off in the Crowbar HQ mailbox earlier this week by Bonez, one of our Resistance Force independent affiliates. Among multiple reels (Bonez is a rich source of information) was The Secret Policeman - our new Favourite. Movie. Ever. This documentary is the work of a BBC reporter who went undercover as an officer on the second largest British police force, in order to determine whether racism was still rampant with new recruits. The Resistance Force can only tip its hat to the stellar work he did, using hidden cameras and recorded audio to capture what these cops were saying when off the record. This is spy work of the highest calibre. The whole crew was spellbound earlier this evening when we screened it, and even Con Allyerd finally turned up to watch. Of course, being that she's probably the most crass operative in the Crowbar team, her main contribution to the discussion was to comment that the reporter, Mark Daly, was "dead sexy" before she sashayed out the door to embezzle more funds, but we were still impressed that she showed at all.
Continued thanks to Bonez for surreptitiously leaving useful intelligence outside the HQ doors when we're least expecting it, and a big recommendation to all of you Resistance Force affiliates to check it out.
posted by Crowbar at 2:15 a.m.
1 Comments:
Crowbar, I feel a silent void when no news has come from you. I also feel electric comfort in knowing that you are out there fighting the seemingly endless battle.
I send energy......sorry no funds
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