Signpost of the Apocalypse #1
Earlier this evening an unsuspecting Crowbar was watching television when a commericial came on for a kids album. This commercial featured Austin-Powers-seventies-type graphics while children (somewhere in the 9 to 12 age range, we'd guess) posed in rock star moves while singing popular hits of the day. The ad blasted out "It's finally here! KidzBop 7!! With all your favourite songs and now with temporary tattoos included!!"
The little demon spawn children went on to sing the lyrics of generic pop/alterno songs, while pouting pensively into the camera and grooving like a Gap Kids commercial. You've all heard some variation on the saying, "It's like watching a train wreck - you can't look away" and this phenomenon was evidenced in Crowbar's open-mouthed horror.
It all got so very, very ugly, however, when mixed amongst the mangled Top 40 hits the cloven-footed monsters were chipmunking, came the strains of "Float On" by Modest Mouse.
When we found Crowbar 15 minutes later she was catatonic before the screen, looking much like our little droog Alex here:
"Aaaaghh!! KidzBop!!!"
The little demon spawn children went on to sing the lyrics of generic pop/alterno songs, while pouting pensively into the camera and grooving like a Gap Kids commercial. You've all heard some variation on the saying, "It's like watching a train wreck - you can't look away" and this phenomenon was evidenced in Crowbar's open-mouthed horror.
It all got so very, very ugly, however, when mixed amongst the mangled Top 40 hits the cloven-footed monsters were chipmunking, came the strains of "Float On" by Modest Mouse.
When we found Crowbar 15 minutes later she was catatonic before the screen, looking much like our little droog Alex here:
"Aaaaghh!! KidzBop!!!"
posted by Crowbar at 3:33 a.m.
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